Prologue:
- Giddy
- Filled with energy
- Motivated
- Excited
- Ready
There is so much happening right now and I am still doing what I can from home signing petitions, sending emails, but I am also using my privilege to take some time to care for myself and my mental health and today I had a full belly laugh for the first time in a while thanks to a podcast I'll mention later, but what brought the most sunshine to my day was something completely unexpected: my little cousin.
I am currently legally under quarantine in Texas until June 12th, so I can't leave the house. Little did I know that my little three year old cousin had other plans -- he Facetimed me on my godmother's phone so we could play together. I thought maybe my godmother was calling to show me something he was doing and I'd receive half attention, but it was him calling ME! He gave me his full attention and I had to do the same! So I did!
And somehow, magically, we played, and suddenly he was placing me (the phone) inside of his Buzzlightyer Rocketship so I could fly through the clouds of his imagination. I began to show him the ways of cinematography through my camera by moving the camera, flipping it, zooming it (manually) close to my face and making big silly faces, spinning around in a circle, shaking the screen when the rocket ship was taking off, screaming in horror when his t-rex was "eating me" (through the phone) -- and IT. WAS. FUN.
I turned the phone different directions and he said "You're upside down!" I said, "No, YOU'RE UPSIDE DOWN!" So he said, "I'll go upside down" and he laid on his bed and held the phone so I could see him hanging his head upside down off his bed and his hair flying in gravity. I thought he was actually doing a hand stand to do this, so - not to be outdone by a three year old - I said, okay, I'm going to try, tucked my shirt in, propped the phone up so it would face a wall, and then proceeded to do a handstand against the wall and talk to him upside down. SO we were a couple of goof balls just HANGIN' OUT upside down. Ah. The joy of imagination and play. So, thanks lil cuz for saying yes to calling me and for reminding me what it is to stretch the imagination and free yourself to PLAY! I am so excited to hang out with you after June 12th.
1. What If All Our Higher Selves Watched Over Us: A Playlette
2: Oh, no! Really?
3: What is it this time?
1: Yeah, she definitely just fell down the comparison rabbit hole.
2: Ooh is she still trying to compare herself to people with 35+ years of experience and mastery in that niche field?
1: Yup. What about you, how's yours doing?
2: Still in the plateau phase.
1: Mm
3: How long has that been goin' on?
2: Errrm, let's see she's turning 72 in March so . . . thereabouts?
1: Wow
3: Do you think she'll ever . . . ?
3: Ya know . . .
3: Change?
2: Well,
1: Now, now, 3, let's not push it, some people aren't made to change
2: Well --
3: But the same thing on and on for 72 years! I mean how do they stand that!
1: It's safe. It's comfortable. We really should ask how do they stand change! It's difficult! It's scary! It's terrifying really to let yourself go and to let go of your comforts, structure, your old values, etc. and dive into a 'whole new world'
3: Please don't start singing.
1: WHY CHANGE? WHY STAY THE SAME? IT'S ALL A MATTER OF FEELING PAIN. IF WE LIVE LONG ENOUGH WE'LL SEE: IT ALL BEGINS WITH ME.
3: Oh dear God.
1: IF THEY'D ONLY SEE. IF THEY'D ONLY SEE: IT ALL BEGINS WITH ME.
2: But I've been trying, 1! I've tried sending messages, sending people, taking people, taking messages, objects, feelings -- its like they don't care.
1: Oh they care.
2: Then why?
1: BECAUSE CHANGE CAN BE FREEING, CHANGE CAN BE SEEING, CHANGE CAN BE MAKING BELIEVE, CHANGE ISN'T EASY AND ITS NOT REALLY CHEESY: CHANGE BEGINS WITH ME
3: Can we at least get some new information?
1: WELL, THANK YOU FOR ASKING, ITS NOT THAT I'M BASKING BUT
3: Basking?
1: IF YOU'LL LISTEN, YOU'LL SEE I GLISTEN
2: Glisten?
1: WITH POSITIVITY!
3: Oh god don't give me the positivity bull shit
2: 3!
3: What! I'm serious! I know, I know positive affirmations, ra ra ra
2: 3! You know the power of speech, imagination, and self-belief!
3: Oh Gods, not you too. .
2: BECAUSE SPEECH IT CAN FREE YOU, IMAGINATION CAN CHEER YOU, IF YOU ONLY BELIEVE! BELIEVE IN YOURSELF, BELIEVE IN YOUR HEALTH AND YOU WILL SEE. TAKE A MOMENT TO BREATHE, REALLY JUST BREATHE, AND SEE WHAT YOU WANT TO SEE AND THEN YOU MIGHT SEE THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO SEE BECAUSE YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU WANT TO BE AND YOU'RE SCARED AND YOU'RE LONELY AND YOU WANT TO BE FREE BUT YOU'RE SO SCARED OF FREEDOM BECAUSE WHAT WOULD YOU BE IF YOU'RE FREE?
1: YES! BECAUSE IT ISN'T REALLY CHANGE PEOPLE FEAR!
3: What? But the whole song is --
1: IT'S LOSS.
3: Whaaaaaa?
2: LOSS OF THE SELF, LOSS OF YOUR HEALTH, LOSS OF YOUR FRIENDS, LOSS OF YOUR STRUCTURE, YOUR MOTHER, YOUR SAFETY, YOUR LOVER
3: Lover?
1: BECAUSE CHANGE ISN'T EASY. I'M NOT BEING CHEESY: CHANGE BEGINS WITH ME
3: But where does it end?
2: Oh change never ends.
1: NO CHANGE NEVER ENDS! LISTEN, MY FRIENDS!
1 & 2: CHANGE NEVER ENDS - IT ONLY BEGINS - AND CHANGE BEGIIIIIIIIINS WITH
3: ME?
2: NO ME!
1: WHO YOU?
3: NO 2!
2: WHAT ME?
1: YOU'LL SEE!
1, 2, & 3: THAT CHAAAAANGE BEGIIIIIINS WITH MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
4: What are you all doing?
2. Seein' Birds Again
I keep seeing the shadow of a bird pass by in every window and while outside. I keep seeing them everywhere.
Birds/flock of birds:
- "prosperity, progress, and abundance coming into your life"
- "confirm the success of your endeavors and current actions"
- "receiving rewards for some past work and efforts"
- "spiritual awakening"
- "encouragement from the spirit realms"
- "a sign from your loved one or from your guardian angels. They confirm that you have their support and protection"
Today, on my walk, this crow would not leave me alone it kept cawing like crazy like it needed to make sure I heard it (I was wearing headphones). It was like "LISTEN TO ME! PAY ATTENTION!"
Crows/Raven:
- "associated with the great mysteries of life"
- "mysticism"
- "Change or metamorphosis"
- "Sharp insights"
- "Good change ahead"
- Mystery
- Transformation
Well, I am a Ravenclaw. . . I think all of this is part of the continual messages I am receiving from my spirit guides that I am going to be okay, that things are changing (including myself) and that is okay and that I am doing right by seeking spiritual enlightenment and education about the paranormal. I am excited and comforted by their guidance and support. Go team!
Other things I keep hearing: "Do you know who you are?"