B: No. No, I don't think that's strange at all.
*They smile*
What It Is To Be
@abrigoa “What It Is To Be,” an original poem by Amy Abrigo #poem #poems #poet #poetry #poetrytok #poetrytoker #poetrytiktoker #poetrytiktok #words #wordsmith #performer #actor #spoken #spokenword #rhyme #basketball #motivate #motivation #motivational #diamondintherough #og #oc #fyp #original #originalsound #originalcontent #2022 #tobe #to #be #bigquestions ♬ original sound - Amy Abrigo
And you think you're the game
And you think you're more than just another name
Chasing some kind of fame
And you bounce around
Like a basketball
Hoping you'll fall into this perfect net
But instead you regret
A man who was never meant to hold you
And you are the ball being thrown around,
Always caught, but never found,
Passed from person to person,
Creating nothing but sin,
Trying to win someone else's goal,
You get through their hoops, then you're valuable
They spin you around and call it a trick.
They keep you under the palm of their ---
Sick-ening gaze
They always use the wrong phrase
And somehow they walk away when the game is through
And you?
You roll around on the ground.
You toss and turn and wait to be found
You are a blind queen in search of a crown
Hopeless and dazed
Looked up to and praised
Too good to be touched
Always more than enough
And you pray for some sort of in between
You hope for daylight so you can be seen
You wish there was a game in which you both could win
So something new could begin again
So you could get off this stage
So you could turn this page
So you could be the sage you were meant to be
So you could step out of the frame and finally be free
So you could remember your own name
So you could light your own inner flame
Because for once you're not just another name
Another claim
Another "Oops I did it again!"
This time you realize you are more than enough:
A diamond in the ruff,
A freshly pressed shirt cuff,
A polished shoe without a scuff,
Unconditional love without the 'tough',
And suddenly you're scared
Because you realize all that you prepared
Is finally being dared
The dreams are being compared with reality
And "Oop there goes gravity,"
But you can't give up that easy
You claw through the grass and cut through the wood
You stop asking if you're any good
You chew through the meat and gnaw on the fat
You learn you can ask for this and that
You realize all those stupid movies were true
And all that shit that you needed was inside of you
And it pisses you off that they were all right
That you couldn't just learn that in one single night
That you had to go through all this to get there
That you had to leap in order to soar through the air
And you still aren't sure if you're falling or flying
But you're leaping
You're leaping
And you're thanking yourself for trying
You're leaping
You're leaping
Unafraid of dying
Because you know that you're here
You know that they're there
You know that there's support everywhere
And even if you fell, someone would catch you in midair,
They'd carry you like a phoenix through the flame,
And they'd shout,
from the rafters,
your first and last name,
And somehow you see,
Through the mist and the smoke,
Through the fog and the invisibility cloak,
Through all the bad jokes,
It's okay to change,
It's okay to feel shame,
It's okay to stay the same,
It's okay to feel,
It's okay to heal,
It's okay to pretend none of this world is real,
Though that's not ideal,
But it's okay to do what you need to do to appeal,
To your senses,
To your mind,
To your oh, it's okay, I'm fine,
To destroy your reality
To defy your gravity
To become your dreams
Because you weren't designed to fit in some mold
To be the warmth to someone else's cold
You were made to be held
By the world and yourself
To be free
To be we
To be me
To be all that I am
To know is to love
To be is to know
To know that I am all that I love
That I love all that I be
That is me
That
That, my friends, is what it is to be.
Can I ask you a question?
I Lied
So what?
It's not like you don't do it all the time.
In your silence. In your smile.
In your, "I'm only here for a while."
So I lied.
And I said it wasn't your game that I wanted to play
I thought, hey -
"Two can play at this game,"
But it's tough.
I guess some like it easy and some like it rough.
So I lied.
Because secretly I knew you'd never play.
And it made me feel better at the end of the day.
Because if there was no you there was nothing to break away.
Because I knew it was you I wanted anyway
No matter how wrong
No matter how you made me feel like I didn't belong
Like a broken song,
I still wanted you
If only for so long.
So I told myself we were through before we began
After all, I can only control what I can
But deep down I have this feeling that you're just like me
You don't get close so you don't have to face reality
And I imagined some girl
You took for a whirl
You thought it was her
You thought that was it
And suddenly she's the one who wanted to quit
So you said - enough, enough of this shit
You're too scared to feel
You avoid anything real
So when someone comes along who makes you feel alive
You jump into the deep end just to survive
You grab all the chisme and eye them and go
You pretend like you really need to know
You get so close and give 'em that smile
You feed them the breadcrumbs for miles and miles
Because you know they'll stay
But when they get too close, you push them away
But they'll deal with your bullshit at the end of the day
Because we all want to be loved
And we'll do what we need to do to be seen
Even if we have to be someone else's in between
Loneliness can push us to do things we never thought we could do,
Because sometimes life is scary,
To go it alone,
Because growing up is harder than just calling someone on the phone,
Then escaping into the arms of someone else,
Than replaying old memories all by yourself,
Than processing through all the crap on your shoulders,
Than actually working through mental boulders,
Those inevitable thoughts that you have to face,
That people you love will always disappear without a trace,
But it's not all true -
And I wish that you knew
But I get it,
Another person can feel like a saving grace
A quick replace
A super human case
A remedy
A healing taste
A chance to zone out in subliminal space
I lied, I did, but let me tell you a fact:
I'm not here to act
So I'm exiting this track
Well, I'm trying to at least.
Okay, let's be honest, as I walk away I'll enjoy the last visual feast.
Remember?
I opened the world for him.
I brought things to life for him that he only understood as concepts.
CYO
Maybe I am actually a sweet person.
I could never believe that before.
Because people always used to tell me how ugly and horrible I was,
And I believed them.
And I thought they were right,
And I was wrong,
And I needed to change,
to shift,
to morph into their understanding of true beauty -
and what was that to them?
Sitting still?
Being quiet?
Doing my best not to exist?
And I thought it was my fault.
Because I was so awful and terrible.
It was my fault they broke up
It was my fault they got married
They got divorced
They showed up late
They went on dates
The alcohol
The bigger fall
The money
The house
The gifts
The mouse
I thought,
"If I was better,
smarter,
thinner,
prettier, If -"
But it isn't true,
I'm here to talk to you,
because the only one you are responsible for is you,
and, yes, we all have work to do,
but you can't make their dreams come true
you can't help them find their truth
the only one you can worry about now is you.
And maybe you couldn't understand that as a child, but now it's your time, now you're allowed to heal, to learn, to grow, to establish what is real, what is true for you, and what you want to do. You got this, I swear, you have all that you need to prepare. You got this, I believe, you can claim anything you want to achieve. It all may sound fake, like a 52 layered double-decker cake, but let me tell you, you aren't asleep, you're awake, and it's your chance to create your own fate.
A Good Reminder:
For The First Time
I don't want someone to take me to exotic lands
I want to be by myself
To chase my own wealth
To see the worth that is within me
To be all that I know I can be
To realize I can't seek completion from somebody else
I can't treat other people like an item on a higher shelf
I can't do this anymore
I can't pretend I'm not still on the floor
I'm getting back up, but I've got to do this alone
Can't keep chasing addictions through the telephone
You can't erase the pain of the past
by re-doing the play and changing the cast
So I'm done.
I'm done with searching for "the one."
And I actually feel okay by myself.
For once, I'm okay by myself.
I just want to be in my own sense of place.
To take up and soak up my own personal space.
My own saving grace
My own beautiful face
To not save space, a place,
NOT to chase
No, no, no, no, no,
Not now
Not here
No more
No more
No more, my dear.