Prologue: I AM Enough
- I now go beyond other people's fears and limitations
- I create my life
- I am free of all irritations
- All is iwell
- I love and approve of myself
- Life supports and loves me
- I create a life filled with reqards
- I willingly forgive
- I breathe life into my vision and see with compassion and understanding
- I now see my own beauty and magnificance
- I accept Divine Guidance
- I am always safe and secure
- I am protected by Divine Guidance
- I am willing to grow up and take responsibility for my life
- I forgive others
- I now create my own life the way I want it
- All pressure dissolves
- I AM good enough
- I easily ask for what I wan
- I trust the process of life
- I am peaceful with life
- I forgive myself and choose to love myself
Accomplishments
So here's a little reminder to toot my own horn a bit. Because WHY NOT?
In Life:
- Made a living as a professional theatre artist
- Earned my High School Diploma
- Got elected as Class President
- Earned a BA in Theatre from Concordia University Saint Paul after changing my major multiple times with no previous theatre experience
- Served in the Student Senate
- Got promoted to Student Manager of the Help Desk
- Served as an RA for multiple years
- Asked for help
- Got promoted from usher to house manager for a broadway show house
- Worked as a wardrobe dresser for three broadway tours
- Interned for WICKED The Musical
- Completed multiple internships in my final year of college while still working and in school and in theatre
- Earned an MA in Theatre and Certificate in Nonprofit Management from Villanova University
- Stayed debt free
- Chose life
- Independently drove 1754 miles from Pennsylvania to Texas
In Quarantine:
- Memorized and pre-recorded/performed part of Not I by Samuel Beckett (considered one of the most difficult pieces to memorize and perform)
- Made some kick butt tik toks
- Wrote a play
- Produced that play
- Revised that play
- Started my own website building business
- Built two websites for fellow artists
- Started a blog
- Revamped my own website
- Started learning Piano
- Started learning to read Oracle Cards
- Opened myself to love
- Wrote some poetry
- Dived deep into emotional baggage and cleaned house
- Cried
- Healed
- Laughed
- Loved
- Kept calm and carried on
- Freaked out and ran around
- Tripped
- Failed
- Got back up again
- Smiled
- Frowned
- Turned around
- Sustained myself on Facebook marketplace sales
- Set boundaries
- Opened up
- Used my words
- Communicated
- Stood up for myself
- Signed petitions
- Called governors
- Emailed representatives
- Voted
- Went grocery shopping in the midst of a pandemic
- Learned how to cut my own hair
- Learned how to love myself
- Became a Yogi bear
- Manifested abundance
- Found a way to step towards a life I want to build for myself
- Decided its okay for me to be my true authentic self in whatever way that means for me
- Oh yeah and built a healthy relationship with food and exercise and myself via #Noom
New Beginnings
Either way -- it got me thinking about myself and what limiting beliefs I was telling myself. It also helped that Noom had a coinciding article that day about limiting beliefs. In the article it asked me to write down 1-3 things I believed were impossible for me to do. Typically things people probably write are things like "run 3 miles without stopping," but I wrote:
- Become proficient in Piano
- Become a Broadway Music Director
- Become a Musical Conductor
But I wanted to take things a step further. And I thought about how I kept telling my godmother how "it's not too late! You can still do it!" And I encouraged her to look up what it would take to be a lawyer or detective or criminologist and to just try because who cares how old she is, she still has a right to go back to school if she wants to! She can still try! It's not too late! And then it hit me. WHY COULDN'T I SAY THE SAME THING TO MYSELF? I TOO was saying to myself "oh no its too late for me, I didn't study music in undergraduate school so I can never be a musician." WHY NOT? IT'S NOT TOO LATE! I'M GOING TO BE 28 IN AUGUST HOW COULD I POSSIBLY GIVE UP ON MY HEART'S DREAM CAREER SO QUICKLY? So. . . I applied for a music program. Because I am enough. I don't need to be perfect to be loved. I am capable. I am worthy. I am incredible and I have the power and capacity to do anything I want. So why not DO what I want?
Alternate Ending
Care Not Carry
So! The happy side to this journey is being self-aware and learning more about empath-ing like "Care not carry." What this handy dandy phrase means to me is that its okay for me to care about other people and their journeys, but I do not need to carry them or their journeys with me in my daily life. I am not responsible for them or their emotions. It is not my responsibility to fix them or heal them or make them happy. I am only responsible for myself and all I can do is love them within my own boundaries and wish them the best. SO. Care not carry friends. #NotYourTacos
More talk on empath-ing in this episode of A Funny Feeling podcast: