Prologue: I Would Never Have Believed You
If you told me this is what I would be doing on September 28th 2020, I would never have believed you.
If you told me everything was going to be okay
If you told me I'd be paid to be my true authentic self and live my passion
If you told me "acting will pay the bills"
If you told me your world is bigger than theater
If you told me you can have your cake and eat it too
If you told me I would lose 33 lbs
If you told me I would have opportunities beyond my wildest dreams or jobs I could never have imagined
If you told me I was already living out my purpose
If you told me I was meant to be here
If you told me I was meant to do this
If you told me I would find a way to shine my light, support other artists, and get all the extrovert love I need in the midst of a global pandemic
If you told me I would join two new cohorts of individuals successfully without fear of bullying, able to let my guard down, able to make friends and be beloved by others
If you told me I would get up two hours before work to allow myself self-care time to relax, eat breakfast, warm up my body with a workout and do daily vocal warm ups
If you told me I would join a choir
If you told me I would get the music training I always wanted
If you told me I would get to be a princess
If you told me I was a princess
If you told me I had the power to lead a group of individuals past their fears into a successful campaign filled with pride, love, and support
If you told me everything I ever did led me to this moment
If you told me my role as a "Team Captain" didn't stop when I graduated High School
If you told me my leadership skills would ease the suffering of others
If you told me I would get revenge on all the toxic masculinity out there by making individuals nearly pee themselves in fear
If you told me that I would get to be on live TV. . . twice . . . in one day
If you told me I would be on the cover of multiple viral YouTube videos
If you told me I could get paid to do what I love as a web designer and actor
if you told me I had the capacity to start my own business that may be able to sustain the lifestyle I desire
If you told me I would get the chance to audition for hundreds of theatres nationwide virtually because of a global pandemic,
I would never have believed you
I would have called you crazy
I would have called you crazy
you
crazy
1. Messages Received
- Red cardinal
- Examine the opportunities in your life where a path to leadership may be opening up for you.
- Moving forward requires self-awareness and confidence in your unique qualities and gifts.
- Feel assured of your importance on this journey.
- Cardinal is calling you to see yourself in a new light.
- Use that light to move forward while you lead others to do the same.
- Cardinal bestows a special message of self-worth.
- Choose to claim this as a right and a truth.
- Affirmation: I embrace and open to new opportunities with confidence.
- Blue jay
- The time is right to access and master your abilities. Do so with humility and control.
- Step forward and uncover your mastery. What is in need of support to realize a goal?
- There are many paths to one end.
- There are times when we need to access a variety of skills and behaviors--some more forceful and others more passive.
- True mastery lies in the integration of all the qualities, skills and traits you possess and using them appropriately.
- Look at the parts of yourself you have disowned, disavowed or denied and then invite them to return. True mastery is found in wholeness and truth.
- Affirmation: I reclaim all parts of myself and open to my highest potential
- Vultures
- Accept the inevitable.
- Let go of the past and welcome a rebirth to begin.
- Death of the old way is imminent.
- This is not a physical death but the letting go of outworn roles, thoughts and beliefs.
- The divine vulture messenger urges you to release the past and all that you have been holding onto.
- This process can be a struggle if you resist, or you could be filled with ease of acceptance.
- The choice is up to you.
- Once you begin to move fully into this process, you open the doorway to a beautiful opportunity for rebirth and renewal. Vulture assures you through this process of purification that you will indeed have a fresh start.
- Allow this messenger to process what you let go of and recycle the energy.
- Allow yourself to reabsorb the energy and experience the renewal that follows.
- Affirmation: I honor and accept all of my life experiences.
- Blackbird
- The magical and unique qualities of your untapped potential are unfolding now.
- Calls you to the unseen realms.
- Welcome in the mysteries and magic of that which is not in plain sight.
- Allow the song of blackbird to invite you to move beyond your usual limits and find your hidden potential.
- The gifts that we find in the shadows are often the greaetest inspirations.
- All we need to do is step forward and seek what is right there in the twilight.
- Allow yourself to push past the ordinary boundaries and take the journey with blackbird.
- As you do, be open to the new information and opportunities that await you.
- Affirmation: I embrace and open to the mystery and magic in life.
- Goose
- Your dreams and desires are calling you to action. The journey begins today.
- The goose messenger has arrived to awaken you.
- All of those unfulfilled dreams and desires are stirring new energy within you and urging you to set out on a great quest.
- Now is the time to reflect on your deeper desires and what brings you a sense of joy.
- Then, with the great movement of goose, pursue it swiftly.
- Does it seem impossible?
- This is no longer the case.
- The journey awaits you with open arms.
- Affirmation: I now embark on my true quest and open my heart to fulfillment.
- Oriole
- A new creative venture is on the horizon.
- See it as a positive change.
- Oriole messenger alerts you that positive change is coming your way. You are being urged to embrace your connection to creativity and use it while you see opportunities ahead.
- This does not mean to focus solely on artistic output but also to employ creativity in all aspects of your life.
- Weave new ideas and innovative thinking into any venture.
- The sun is shining upon you ensuring success, happiness and a positive outcome.
- This messenger also reminds you to pause and see pleasure in the simple things.
- Is your tendency to see the obstacles?
- Move past that now and see the bright path laid out before you.
- Affirmation: My creativity and projects are blessed with golden light.
- Butterflies
- Creativity
- Changes
- Joy
- Endless potential
- Transformation
- Spiritual rebirth
- Hope
- Renewal
- Endurance
- Courage to embrace the transformation to make life better
- Skunks
- Defensive, protective, prudent, courageous, aware, balanced, assertive
- Become confident in your interactions with others.
- You are capable of facing life's challenges with a calm and collected demeaner
- Be willing to set an example of the above for others
- You have the ability and courage to right a wrong that you perceive
- Justice prevaliing
- Our punch doesn't have to be lethal
- Stand your ground firmly and with confidence
- You have been driving people away, whether intentionally or unintentionally.
- You could be suppressing anger or other negative emotions and are on the brink of exploding.
- Take the higher road
- Feel comfortable expressing your true feelings when you do not agree with a decision that affects your life
- Fear
- What is it that you are fearing? Address it and move forward with poise and dignity.
- Arthritis
- Feeling unloved. Criticism, resentment
- New thought pattern: I am love. I now choose to love and approve of myself. I see others with love.
- Cuts
- Punishment for not following your own rules.
- New thought pattern: I create a life filled with rewards.
- Fingers: Index Finger
- Represents ego and fear.
- New thought pattern: I am secure.
- Hands
- Hold and handle. Clutch and grip. Grasping and letting go. Caressing. Pinching. All ways of dealing with experiences.
- New thought pattern: I choose to handle all my experiences with love and with joy and with ease.
- Shoulders
- Represent our ability to carry out experiences in life joyously. We make life a burden by our attitude. I choose to allow all my experiences to be joyous and loving.
- New thought pattern: I choose to allow all my experiences to be joyous and loving
- Wounds
- Anger and guilt at the self.
- New thought pattern: I forgive myself, and I choose to love myself.
- Wrist
- Represents movement and easy.
- New thought pattern: I handle all my experieinces with wisdom, with love, and with ease.
- Weakness
- A need for mental rest.
- New thought pattern: I give my mind a joyous vacation.
2. Look, Mom, I'm on TV!
3. . . . At Night
4. It's Not Every Day You Get To Be A Disney Princess
Halloween is the one day where you can choose to be whoever you want to be, whatever you want to be, however you want to be and you are loved and accepted. It is a magical day where everyone can wear a crown, cat ears, or a Pikachu tail and be praised for it. Everyone dives into their imaginations and thinks "I can do that" or "I can be that" and they show the universe a part of themselves that - maybe - they keep tucked deep away from most of the world. They can be dark and mischievous, gory and bloody, a magical glittery princess, or they can save the world in their tights and cape! Who you are "thought" to be, people's regular on-the-surface perceptions of you are thrown out the window and you are free to live your best life as your best self. And if that means vampire fangs in your mouth and fake blood running down your chin, most people will double take at you pulling into the drive-thru and say "You do you, boo-boo!" And I think it makes me feel a little bit safer. A little bit more confident that I do have the power to be my authentic self and be loved for it. I am not "too loud" or "too creative." I do not "have my head in the clouds." I am not "too big of a dreamer." I am awesome and you are awesome and we can be awesome together. Happy Halloween season, friends! I can't wait to see your costumes!
5. A Note on Privilege & A Few Other Things
Also, in case you forgot - Black lives still matter, racism isn't a thing of the past, and we still want justice for Breonna Taylor. Stop killing people. Enough is enough. Remember to register to vote if you haven't already and sign up for an Intergroup Relations class if possible and/or begin reading some woke literature like "How To Be An Anti-Racist" - especially if this sounds terrifying or "not for you."