Thank you, Junie <3
My First Week Teaching Summer Camp!
And my godmother hinted towards me working to be a full-time teacher:
Me:
The Story of Anansi
The Story of the Cracken
A: What are you going to do after class?
J: I am going to go home. Dress up like Hagrid. Hold his staff. Go to the beach. Slam my staff into the ground and try to summon the Cracken.
*pause*
A: Well, good luck!
*J's eyes widen in shock*
J: DO YOU KNOW WHAT THE CRACKEN IS?
A: Yeah.
J: So why are you wishing me good luck?
A: Well, you want to summon him. So I'm wishing you good luck on being successful.
J: But if I'm successful then the Cracken will come and kill everyone.
*pause*
A: Oh.
J: Yeah.
A: What does the Cracken look like?
J: It's a giant sea monster.
A: Could you draw it for me?
J: Well... I can draw a squid, so I guess so.
*J runs away*
Thank you for the gifts:
A: Yellow.
*M1 runs away*
Minutes later. . .
M1: Miss Amy, what's your 2nd favorite color?
A: Orange.
*M1 runs away*
A: No.
M2: Awwwwww....
A: Maybe you could make one?
*M2 runs away*
A: No.
*A1 runs away*
A: No.
M3: Do you have a husband?
A: No.
M3: Do you have a kid?
A: No.
*M3 gasps*
M3: Then we can get married!
*A laughs*
A: No, I don't think that would be appropriate.
M3: Yes, we can get friendship married!
A: Ummmm
M3: Do you know how friends get married?
A: How?
M3: Instead of kissing, they hug each other!
A: Oh, I see...
M3: Maybe you could adopt me!
A: Ummmmm..... I think someone is calling me...
A: Yes.
M1: Knock knock
A: Who's there?
M1: Let me in!
A: Let..me..in..Who?
M1: Let me in, I need to go to the bathroom!
*Pause*
*Pause*
*Pause*
*A bursts into uncontrollable laughter*
M1: You're probably going to die of laughter
*A seriously contemplates*
A: I probably am.
*A contemplates again*
A: I think that would be nice. At least I would be happy.
*A makes a mental note*
M1: You probably are going to die laughing.
*A, still laughing*
A: I hope I do.
*contemplates this moment and the chaos and*
A: I hope I do.
A: ?
J: To get to the other slide.
A: *uncontrollable laughter*
A: Please don't.
A: Please don't touch me.
A: The only touching we should be doing is hugging.
*Two boys immediately hug*
A: Please don't eat the crayons.
A: Put the scissors down, please.
Student 2 (her twin sister): My name is M, aka pancakes, aka tad
*M1 runs up to me and whispers*
M1: I kind of want an aka name too
A: Okay. Maybe you could be -
M1: NO I WANT TO BE STRAWBERRIES.
A: Okay.
M1: Because I love strawberries so much.
*M1 smiles that cereal killer smile that makes you step back*
*A sits down next to E*
A: What's goin' on, E?"
E: I don't want to do it.
A: Why don't you want to do it?
E: I don't want to do anything.
A: Me too, E. Me too.
#Mood
A: No.
R: How much longer 'till recess?
A: 10 more minutes.
R: WHAT? I thought it was almost time because they took a trip to the bathroom.
A: No, they just took a trip to the bathroom becuase someone had to go to the bathroom.
R: Couldn't they just hold it?
A: Well, we don't really want you to hold it because if you hold it too long you could get a bladder infection and that is no fun.
R: What?
A: Yeah.
R: Wow.
*Eyes widen in shock*
R: I never heard of that.
*R walks away in contemplation*
A: Neither do I.
R: I want to go to recess.
A: I understand. If I could be somewhere else right now I would be too.
*My boss gives me a 'maybe-this-is-not-the-time-to-vent-to-a-child' look*
A: I mean - I like being here, but if I could be in Japan right now, I'd definitely be in Japan.
My boss: I'd be in Switzerland. Where it's cooler.
*sweat roll downs our foreheads*
R: I'd be at recess.
*we stare into the distance*
Student 2: YES, WE KNOW EVERYONE WAS LITTLE ONCE, WHY ARE YOU SHOUTING ABOUT IT?
Student 3: No - not everyone!
Student 4: Yes!
Student 3: No - not God!
A: What?
Student 3: God was always an adult.
A: Okay, 3, everybody has different opinions about God, so let's not talk about it here.
E: Miss Amy, I fell and I hurt my arm and I think I broke it.
A: Can you wiggle your fingers?
*Wiggles fingers*
A: Can you move your arm?
*still crying*
E: Yes, but it really HURTS!
A: Okay, hmmm...
*knowing it is not broken because it is not swelling and she would not be able to move it if it was broken and there is no scarring or blood or bones poking out*
A: I know! We need to summon the power of the sun god!
*A stands dramatically and shouts towards the sky*
A: oH MIGHTY POWERFUL SUN GOD!
*E and older sister immediately stop crying and begin giggling*
A (con'td): WE CALL ON YOU AND YOUR HEALING POWERS TO HELP MISS E TO HEAL HER ARM!
A: (an aside to E) Now I have to harness the powers of the sun.
*A circles her hands in the air over and over as if wrapping a spider web around her hands to "collect" the power of the sun. The sisters stare in awe at the sacred ceremony - they have never summoned the power of the sun god*
A (to the older sister): Quick, I need your help! You need to blow on it!
*Older sister hurridly blows on my hands (I will sanitize later) - A stares at the energy "glowing" in her hands and slowly, carefully, brings it towards the 'wound'*
A: Where does it hurt?
E: *sniffs* Here *points*
A: Okay,
*A carefully 'places' the energy around the wound as if adding a large bandaid*
A: Okay, now, you just have to leave that on for a couple minutes and then it should start to feel better. Okay?
*E nods*
A: Okay. Now, you are free to return to playing! (to the sky) THANK YOU OH MIGHTY SUN GOD!
*parents and teachers surrounding us in this public park stare in bewilderment. E & older sister giggle and return to the playground as if nothing has happened.*
Other teacher: Nice.
A: Thanks.
*A sits down and takes a sip of her water*
*She smiles*
It's Time For Breakfast
J: Miss Amy, what time is breakfast?
A: 9:00am.
J: What time is it?
*A looks at watch and back at J*
A: 8:50am.
J: How many minutes 'tiil breakfast?
*A looks at watch and back at J*
A: 10 minutes.
*J sighs and walks across the room to find a chair. J sits quietly in a chair, folds his hands in his lap, closes his eyes and meditates. J is 6 years old.*
*1 minute passes*
*J returns*
J: Miss Amy, how many minutes 'tiil breakfast?
*A looks at watch and back at J*
A: 9 minutes.
J: At least its not 10 minutes.
*J sighs and walks away*
*1 minute passes*
*J returns*
J: Miss Amy, how many minutes 'tiil breakfast?
*A looks at watch and back at J*
A: 8 minutes.
*J sighs and walks away*
*1 minute passes*
*J returns*
J: Miss Amy, how many minutes 'tiil breakfast?
*A looks at watch and back at J*
A: 7 minutes.
*J sighs and walks away*
*1 minute passes*
*J returns*
J: Miss Amy, how many minutes 'tiil breakfast?
*A looks at watch and back at J*
A: 6 minutes.
*J sighs and walks away*
*1 minute passes*
*J returns*
J: Miss Amy, how many minutes 'tiil breakfast?
*A looks at watch and back at J*
A: 5 minutes.
J: It's almost time for breakfast!
A: Yes, J, it's almost time for breakfast.
*J smiles and walks away*
*1 minute passes*
*J returns*
J: Miss Amy, how many minutes 'tiil breakfast?
*A looks at watch and back at J*
A: 4 minutes.
*J sighs and walks away*
*1 minute passes*
*J returns*
J: Miss Amy, how many minutes 'tiil breakfast?
*A looks at watch and back at J*
A: 3 minutes.
*J sighs and walks away*
*1 minute passes*
*J returns*
J: Miss Amy, how many minutes 'tiil breakfast?
*A looks at watch and back at J*
A: 2 minutes.
*J sighs and walks away*
*1 minute passes*
*J returns*
J: Miss Amy, how many minutes 'tiil breakfast?
*A looks at watch and back at J*
A: 1 minute.
*J sighs and walks away*
*1 minute passes*
*J returns*
J: Miss Amy, how many minutes 'tiil breakfast?
*A looks at watch and back at J*
*She smiles*
A: J, it's time for breakfast.
*J leaps into the air*
J: YAY!! IT'S TIME FOR BREAKFAST! IT'S TIME FOR BREAKFAST!
*J runs away excited as Miss Amy stands to announce breakfast time.*
*A seriously takes a moment to contemplate this*
A: A sunflower!
*J runs away*